HopelessBlondie's Xanga

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 15:20:27 GMT

I'm so not even trying to keep this thing updated. I've got too much going on in my life.

If you wanna read about me, check out my LJ (sawyerlove dot livejournal dot com). You'll need an LJ ID to read/comment b/c it's private but if you tell me you're from Xanga I will friend you, promise.

God bless.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 19:49:28 GMT

It's hard to try to deal with death. Always is. Always will be. It happens in threes. I'm waiting for the third.

Charlie Cote-October 1, 2005
Randy Blair-November 4, 2005

I don't wanna know who the third is gonna be. I'm gonna go lay down for the moment. PMS. Headache. Too soon to take more pain killers (I took a Tylenol during eigth period free).

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 21:41:29 GMT

Firstly, it's offical. I'm going vega-fucking-terian for a while. I went to eat some of my chicken and broke the skin. It started BLEEDING. It's dead fucking meat and it's bleeding. I started crying. I have never eaten meat that was raw, that bleed. I never will. And as of now, I'm not eating meat. Period. I don't know how long this will last but as of this moment, meat sickens me. Ewww. I'm gonna start crying at the thought of that. (You can blame PMS for this excess of sensitivity but keep in mind I'm already pretty damn sensitive.)

Secondly, the code to end a cut on LJ is this

<./.lj.-.cut.>

but without the periods. That's for my reference but, if you need to use it, feel free.

Off to go not eat meat.

A sickened Vickey

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 16:57:12 GMT

Home sick. Boring day. Watching Chasing Liberty. Love it. My nails are short. :( But I promised Jack, more importantly I promised myself, I'd cut them and LEAVE them short for a while. This is the only dream I read for myself. Woah! That's supposed to say "this is the only JOURNAL I WRITE for myself". hahahahaha Enough rambling. Survey time I guess....

The Basics (Everyone knows them, but they keep asking)

1.First Name: Victoria

2.Middle Name: Elizabeth

3.Last Name: Goddess (not really)

4.Nicknames: Sawyer, Tink, Sexy :)

5.Birthday: February 20, 1990

6.How old would that make you? almost 16

7.Star Sign: pisces

More Intimate (Just some more basic questions…only in detail)

8.Righty or Lefty? righty

9.Hair Color: brown w/bits of red left

10.Preferred Hair Color: brown or blonde

11.Eye Color:brown/hazel

12.Preferred Eye Color:blue or brown or green

13.What would you be wearing right now? pajamas (I'm home sick what do you expect!?)

14.What jewelry are you wearing, if any? none

This or That (Everybody just LOVES this section…don’t you?)

15.Coke or Pepsi: generic cola!

16.Cake or Pie:cake

17.Popcorn or Chips:chips

18.Theatre or Home:theatre

19.Pants or Shorts:pants

20.Phone or AIM/AOL:AIM

21.Sneakers or Boots:sexy boots

22.Pudding or Jell-O:pudding

23.Winter or Summer:autumn

24.Ski or Board:ski

25.Chocolate Milk or White Milk:chocolate

26.Silver or Gold:silver or white gold

27.Cows or Pigs:neither

Favorites (Is this your favorite section? It’s mine.)

28.Color:purple

29.Number:14, 16, 21

30.Time of the day:4:27pm

31.Day of the week:friday :)

32.Month of the year:October

33.Scent: certain guys

34.Taste: chocolate

35.Flavor of pudding:chocolate and banana cream mixed

36.Flavor of Jell-O: haven't had decent Jell-O in years

37.Flavor of Ice Cream:death by chocolate

38.Kind of Cake:chocolate

39.Kind of Pie:chocolate chip

40.Beverage:suicides

41.T-Shirt:the one I'm wearing :)

Relationships (Friends...and more)

42.Do you have friends? of course!

43.I would sure hope so. How many? too many to count

44.Who's the one you secretly hate? lindz half the time

45.Who's the one you would die without? jack, sayid, lindz the other half the time

46.Who's gonne be pissed you sent them this? not sending it to anyone

47.Who won't give a rats bum? see above

48.Have a crush? Who? yes. Josh. *dreamy sigh*

49.Have you ever had a bf/gf before? yeah. Bry

50.Were they good in bed? Only kidding. Were they good bf/gf material? let's put it this way: he never talked, he didn't get my number, but he gave a killer shoulder rub

51.How many gf/bf's have you had? one.

52.Who was the best one? only had one, babe

53.Do you have a bf/gf now? nope. single as a jay bird.

54.Tell me their name: n/a

55.What is your current view on the relationship? n/a

56.What needs work? n/a darling

57.What's perfect? must i repeat myself again?!

58.Tell me...oh I don't know, 5 nice things about your gf/bf: let me do my crush instead, kay? 1-he has a mohawk. which i find amazingly sexy. 2-he smells great. 3-he gives me random hugs. 4-he flirts all the time 5-he knows when he's overstepped a boundary and where those boundaries are so he rarely oversteps them.

Guys Section (Fill it out. It isn't limited to just guys)

Doing this as how I like my guys typically.

59.Tall or Short? taller than me

60.Brunette or Blonde? (by the way, blondes are becoming extinct...) either

61.Long or short hair? short

62.Make-up? haha no

63.Short or long nails? if his nails are longer than mine, something's wrong

64.Jewelry or no? tastefully

65.Tan or fair? tan-ish (like not albino white)

66.Freckles? sure

67.Inside chick or outdoor chick? i am an inside chick mostly but i can do the outdoors plenty

68.Shy or outgoing? the perfect mix

69. Ok guys, you think this number is funny. Don't you? You sick little pervert. hahaha

70.Innocent girl or Naughty girl? i'm an innocent girl

71.Do you like taking lead in the relationship? he better

72.Do you prefer to make the first move at all tmes? he better not

Girls Section (Fill it out. Not limited just to girls.)

73.Boxer or Briefs? don't care how he wears 'em

74.Short or long hair? short

75.Tall or short? taller than me

76.Muscles or Regular guy? some muscle but not a body builder

77.Naughty or Nice guy? mostly nice but with a rough edge

78.Do you want a Romantic Guy? YES!

79.Are hats ok? sure

80.Piercings? why not?

81.Do you like Dimples? they're nice

82.How about Freckles? see above

83.Cutie or macho man? cutie :)

84.Dark or Light eyes? so long as they're becoming

85.Tan or Fair? tan-ish (these questions are just like the guy ones)

86.Jewelry or none? tastefully

87.Indoor guy or outdoor guy? mix

88.Shy or outgoing? mix

89.Do you like to take lead in the relationship? no

90.Do you like to make the first move? not particularly

The Random Section (Just trying to add more questions)

91.What's the stupidest thing you have ever done? "ummm ummm ummm feminine supply?"

92.What's the most embarassing thing you have ever done? see above

93.What's the nicest thing you have ever done? idk

94.How do you get to school? bus

95.What do you eat for breakfast? nada

96.What do you sleep in? nada

97.What color are your bedroom walls? ugly blues

98.How about your sheets? lavendar

99.How many people have been with you inbetween those sheets? ummm... *counts* 2-4? (still a virgin 100% though)

100.Wasn't this a fun survey? oh yeah. great waste of time.

going to go get warm now cuz i'm all cold and clammy.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 14:14:31 GMT

Last one of these for today in any journal, I swear

1) I am a(n)... complex individual that you can never hope to understand.

2) My ex-boy/girlfriend was... an idiot

3) I'm just a(n)... hopeless romantically cynic.

4) Maybe I should... just go kill myself and escape this world.

5) I love... love.

6) _________ is cute-Josh's new haircut

7) Looking for... a resolution to my confusion.

8) I don't understand... how Lindz claims to be over Josh but then kisses him

9) I lost my... virginity to Chris on the bus. LOL

10) My boy/girlfriend is a(n)... fantasy.

11) In darkness, I... don't like to be alone.

12) Why do I... have to be so confused so often?

13) Is there such a thing as... purity in this world?

14) Does the... only one you care for not care for you?

15) People say I'm... crazy. I say I'm misunderstood.

16) Love is... a many splendored thing.

17) You make me wanna... go lala in the kitchen on the floor...

18) Somewhere, someone is... crying

19) Is it true that... brunettes have more fun?

20) I will always...love you. *lyrics*

21) Forever is... FOREVER. Not until something better comes along.

22) I never want to... get divorced.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 16:58:30 GMT

Hey, haven't done one of these in a while.... Least not in here....

What is your full name? You can make it up if you want, I won’t know the difference:

Victoria Elizabeth

Tell me about your family if you want to. If you’re too lazy, that’s okay, I don’t really care:

I am too lazy.

When’s your birthday?

February 20

What day do you wish was your birthday?

The one it's on

So how old are you?

nearly 16

Do you like being that age?

yep

If not, what age would you rather be; if yes, then why?

it's fun, it's exciting, it's never short on drama

What’s your school like?

suck ass (I'm too cynical today)

Do you even like your school?

mostly actually

Do you have a job or are you too lazy like me?

don't have one b/c i haven't gotten my work permit thing yet

If yes, tell me about your job; if no, why not?

see above dumb ass

Describe to me your personality:

i can't sum myself up in a few words. i should just stop doing this. i'm not in the right mood to answer a billion questions and this survey looks long

What do you do when you’re bored?

surveys

Well what do you do when the electricity goes out and you can’t rely on electronics to keep you occupied?

write

Are you into sports, more of the "fine arts," or a mix of both?

fine arts

Are you a people person?

sometimes

What do you want to be when you grow up?

sane

What is, in your opinion, the easiest job in the world?

ummmmmmm being dead? (God, I am way too fucking cynical today.)

Are you responsible?

yep

Which is better (or more tolerable) . . . Explain yourself

what?

Cats or dogs as pets?

oh, i get it now. cats b/c i said so

Digital watch or regular?

digital so i can read it in less than 5 minutes

Pepsi or Coke (sorry, I know that’s a big repeat, but it has to be asked)?

generic cola

Hot tub or sauna?

hot tub

Freshly caught fish or cheapy frozen fish sticks?

ew ew ew

Boring teacher or mean teacher?

boring (least i can sleep)

Gum stuck in your hair or curling brush stuck in your hair?

gum. comes out w/peanut butter

Paper cut on your tongue or dirt in your eyes?

ow ow ow

Carpet or hardwood floors?

hardwood

Candles or room spray?

candles

Smoothie or milkshake?

milkshake

Block scheduling or eight periods a day (for school)?

eight periods (or nine in my case)

Monopoly or Candy Land?

candy land

Crying by yourself or having someone to cry with you?

crying by myself

Baby screaming or fingernails scratching chalkboard?

baby screaming

Chicken or beef?

beef

Talking on the phone or instant messaging?

IMing

Mini blinds or shades/curtains?

curtains

The Lion King or The Little Mermaid?

Little Mermaid

Watching the rain or being in the rain? I

being in the rain dancing

Soft pillow or firm pillow?

soft

Whoo, whoo, all about LOVE and Relationships

Okay, first obvious question, are you single or taken?

single b/c he hasn't asked me out

If taken, take a moment to brag all about your significant other; if single,

What do you look for in a relationship?

sense of humor, romance, attractive guy w/some depth to them, eyes that i just want to look into forever, strong hands (hard to explain), chemistry

As far as looks go for the opposite sex, what makes you want to look twice (in a good way, lol) In other words, what’s your type, physically?

a bit taller than me, muscular but not body builder type (too much muscle is nasty), deep eyes (color is inconsequential), strong hands, good smile

Of all the people you’ve dated, who was the one you fell for the hardest?

i've only had one bf: bryan. and i fell harder for jon than bry.

Of all the people you’ve dated, who was the one that you definitely could’ve done without?

bryan :)

What was the longest relationship you’ve been in, or what was the longest time you had a crush on someone?

3 weeks, dating. years crushing.

Tell me about your first kiss. If you’ve never been kissed, tell me what you want your first kiss to be like:

never been kissed. i'd rather not say...

Are you all for or against public displays of affection?

for in moderation

Which is most important to you in a relationship - faithfulness, compatibility, or excitement?

faithfulness AND compatibility

If you really like someone, are you more likely to eventually ask them out or forever hold your peace?

forever hold my peace

What’s the best place for a first date?

idk

Would you prefer more romance or fun in a relationship?

romance

Have you ever told someone you loved them?

only my family and close friends

If yes, did you mean it; if no, did you ever want to tell someone you loved them but didn’t?

i never say it if i don't mean it

Has someone ever told you that they loved you?

only family and close friends. oh, and Gene ::shudders::

If yes, what was your initial reaction and did you say it back? My initial reaction was "what, are we allowed to say that" and "really? Is he serious?" I

hahahahaha! w/family and friends it was a "love you too" thing but w/Gene it was a "you don't even remember my name" thing

Does "true love wait"? (What is your opinion on premarital sex?)

no comments

Have you ever been asked out and had to turn them down?

yeah

If yes, what did you say; if no, have you yourself ever been turned down?

"ummm.... no" most of the time

Do believe that there’s that perfect someone out there for you?

yep. just haven't found him yet.

Ever had your heart broken?

yes. October 2, 2004

Ever broken someone else’s?

i hope not

Would you rather date a bunch of people all throughout high school and settle down when you get older or meet "the one" while you’re still young? (hey, that rhymed):

the first answer

What do like most about the opposite sex?

flirting

What do you dislike most about the opposite sex?

when they're jerks

Would you rather have to break up with someone or be broken up with?

idk

Is a serious commitment in a high school relationship a bad idea?

no

Have I asked enough questions on this subject?

no

If yes, scroll down to the next section; if no, say whatever you want to say about love in general that I didn’t ask you:

Love is all you need.

Friends . . .

Well, instead of having a big retarded section asking you which of your friends is the cutest, funniest, nicest, blah blah blah, I want you to tell me all about the friends that you feel like telling me about.

Who was your elementary best friend?

First Summer then Tori then Lindz

Would you rather have a few really close friends or a big group of casual acquaintance type friends?

few really close (aka Lindz, Jack, Sayid, Russo)

I’m just curious . . .

Do you find blonde jokes offensive, hilarious, or just stupid?

mostly either stupid or hilarious (i make tons of "blonde moment" references but josh finds 'em offensive so i try not to)

What do you like to watch on tv, if you watch tv?

shows :)

Do you have any plants in your house?

not real ones (losing cynicism)

Ever had a pet fish?

yep. Goldie and Pyrite

Were you a cute little kid or an annoying little kid?

cute

Are marshmallows good anytime or strictly a campfire treat?

anytime

How many magazines are you subscribed to?

CosmoGirl! & Seventeen i think

When is the last time you went to the dentist?

almost 6 months ago

Did you have any cavities?

no

Do you have a song stuck in your head right now? If so, what song is it?

i have a soundtrack running through my head every day and have for a week.

What is your favorite variety of microwave popcorn? Flavor and brand:

kettle korn orville redenbockers

What is your favorite variety and color of MM’s?

OW! leg! blue plain

In your opinion, what’s the best type of dessert and why?

anything chocolate

While we’re on the subject, what’s your favorite food?

idk

Are you allergic to any foods?

not to the best of my knowledge

What’s your favorite comic strip?

ummmmmmmmmm id remember

Is the squeeze out of a bottle jelly an amazing development or a waste of time?

waste of time and gross

What’s your favorite Jelly Belly flavor? If you’ve never had Jelly Belly jelly beans, you’re very deprived. They have 50 flavors Check out the website http://.

idk

Do you believe in God?

YES!

If no, tell me why; if yes, tell me why:

"For those that believe, no proof is necessary. For those that do not, none will surfice." -idk who said it

Did you know that Jesus loves you?

With all my heart

The Future . . . (dramatic "oohs" and "ahhs")

Do you have it all planned out or are you just going to take life in stride as it comes?

vague plan

When do you get out of school?

2:15pm

Excited?

think i answered that wrong. oh well

What are you going to do this summer?

laze around, have a summer fling, skinny dip, do summer work for my stupid honors courses

What grade are you going into?

i'm in 10th now and 11th next year. HOLY SHIT! i'll be a JUNIOR! just realized this. ::squeegasm::

Are you going to move away as soon as you’re out of school or stay where you are?

idk

So do you know what college you’re going to, or if you’re even going to college?

i am going to college. at the moment my first choice is Columbia but idk

If you are, what do you think your major will be?

prolly English-boring

Do you plan on getting married, provided that you meet the right person?

HELL FUCKIN YEAH

If so, do you want kids? If yes, how many?

yes idk how many. at least 2

Tearful Goodbye . . . (sniff sniff)

What more important, more practical thing could you have done instead of filling out this survey?

shaved my legs, read a book, done my homework, put in my contacts

About how long did it take you?

ummmm 1/2 an hour?

Was it worth it?

no

So hey, how well do you know me, if at all?

i don't. found this survey on forwardgarden.com

If you do know me, what do you think of me?

What did you think of my survey?

long and cynically answered

What are you going to do now that it’s over?

find another survey.

I guess it isn’t over yet, is it?

it is.

I’m still typing . . .

too bad

Okay, now it’s over.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 00:46:28 GMT

I'm in a very "I want to write" mood tonight. But I want to write crap like this not actual substance. Not plot or poetry. Crap like this. But I'll probably end up just writing some bull (deleting this in the AM) and showering tonight. Semi-deep convo w/Lindz at the moment. But it's bull too. Very cynical tonight, aren't I? Hmmm.... romantic arzt bath soak may take care of that. But I just want to go to sleep and have my hair get magically clean. I need to figure shit out. Shit like Josh. And Lindz. And kissing. And none of those thoughts are really related. Okay, I lied. They're all related. I ordered my class ring today. :) It's so pretty. But I have a bad habit about my rings. I only wear them on my left ring finger. Which isn't where a class ring is worn. Yummy ice cream. Oooo hot former PHS student came back today during Chorale :smile: In a good mood again. I blame the ice cream. Gonna go shower now. I'll write more when I'm done. Oh, and I lost one of my good contacts this morning :frown: So I had to wear my glasses. It depressed me but now I feel smart in them. Oh, and I'm so stealing the hoodie from Lindz for like forever. *singing with Mark Wills since I can't sing with Logan Wright* hehe ^_^ Yes I am boy crazy tonight. Lindz needs to stop kissing Josh. It'll just lead him on and confuse him and cause more drama than necessary. Oh, and I have a BIG laugh. I throw my head back and laugh. At least once a day. But I have about 600 other laughs too. I never laugh the same way twice in a row. *she's in love why can't it be me?* I want leaves to play in. But have no place at which to do so. :( The sorrows of living in a complex. Seriously though now, SHOWER TIME!

Back! Feel nice and refreshed after my lover-ly shower. Clean hair. And nice smelling skin. :) Wanna whiff? Too bad! *Last memory in the world that I'd ever want* I love being me tonight. I smell yummy, I'm relaxed, I don't have school for three days, I have a birthday dinner tomorrow night for Sayid, and a day of movies and hair dying on Sunday tentatively scheduled with Mag and Lindz. And homework somewhere in all that. I plan to do my lab report BEFORE next Sunday night though. It's not due til 10/17 (HATE THAT DAY WITH A PASSION) and I'm gonna have it finished by 10/14 I think. Oh, and my hair is falling out. :( It sucks. It's just b/c of stress and nature but, it sucks. Oh, and my migraines are back. Not since I went to the chiro though b/c he got the tension out of my back, shoulders, and neck. So all tension goes there first THEN to my head. And I'm trying like hell to keep the tension out. Thus, it resides in my lower back for the time being. But Dr. Krapf is ubercool for about two weeks (til the stress invades again). So what are your plans for the LONG weekend? BTW: Columbus=murder but he got me a day off of PHS torture and thus, he's ubercool til I remember all the Indians slaughtered mercilessly with smallpox infested blankets.

I think I'm done with this entry for tonight. I'll probably go write something somewhere else but that's enough rambling for this journal. Love ya!

Vickey

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 19:21:38 GMT

I am obsessed with...

Dawson's Creek
Sex and the City
Everwood
Charmed
romance
love
daydreaming
teasing
flirting
making lists
laughing
writing
reading
Nicholas Sparks books
singing
LOST
Josh Holloway
Jewel CD's
taking pictures
chocolate
my rice bag (yay!)
hair dye
fixing the drama (cuz that's my job)
my hooker boots
Tinkerbell
purple fuzz
Moulin Rouge!
JLand
music
my friends
dishing with friends
being myself
crisp air
good books
a certain guy (that's causing a slight riff between me and Lindz)
astrology
quotes
icons

That's all for now. Should go do my stupid science homework now. Yay. ::sarcasm::
Vickey

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 21:46:36 GMT

AOL sucks arse. So does AIM and so does Road Runner. Hate them all. (Hate Spinnerbait. LOL) I'm so gonna go clean the tub in a few and then take a bath (with my romantic sweet pea bath soak) and go to bed. But I should do my homework. hahaha And I'm supposed to wait up for my dad but I SO don't want to. And I should talk to Chris and to Lindz and to Mom. And it's starting to hit home that a life changing event is taking place. Honestly, how is it that some people make dozens of mistakes like this and NOTHING happens but the ONE time this happens THAT has to happen!? Not getting more specific. Not my place to reveal everything. Ugh. I did someone I can vent this whole thing to. There's really no one. I can't talk to the two responsible and I can't talk to my journals because I feel the need to use REAL names not pseudo ones and I'm not breaking her confidence like that. I'd talk to my mom but I don't even know where to start. And not only do I need to vent but, I need advice. B gives great advice to send along but, I need advice on where I fit in here. Obviously it's not my choice or anything and I have NO say whatsoever and I'm not asking to but, my one thought right now is "What if my dad finds out? Will I be allowed to hang out with her anymore?" Sayid knows but she's not supposed to and I can't really talk to her about it. I feel like she'd judge and definitely would not know what to say. I feel almost selfish for wanting to talk about *my* part in this but, it does affect me too. As a teenager, we have trouble knowing where we end and where the next person begins so the conflicts she's going through feel like they're my own. (And this isn't my bull shit. This is bull shit I've read in some scientific journal or some shit.) And I really hope this isn't the day Lindz chooses to read this journal. But some words of encouragement would be nice here people.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 18:36:06 GMT

So homecoming weekend is almost over and here's what I have to tell you...

Went to the game. Went to the dance. Jon didn't come. Hasn't even called me. Oh well. He's a jerk anyhow. (If you comment on that, Jake, I will kill you.) Dyed my hair red. It held. So I have red hair for about two weeks. Still got a health project to do. Yay. ::sarcasm:: Kay, that's all. And yes, I look DAMN SEXY with my red hair.

Vickey